In just a few days, it will be 2 years and 6 months since Blake died. I will never stop saying that I can’t believe SMA came into our lives and stole my perfect girl. All the time we ask ourselves why this happened? Why her? Why our family? My big girl has been asking… Continue reading It’s a lot
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day or Child Loss Remembrance Day. I prefer the latter but that’s just me. One of the reasons this blog still exists is to spread awareness. It’s definitely more than just awareness of Spinal Muscular Atrophy (although you will NEVER stop hearing from me about SMA). It’s child… Continue reading October 15
Recently, I’ve had a great deal of really nice comments from people. They’ve said things about me “having it all together”, “handling loss with grace” and “being so strong.” I’m so appreciative of people who reach out to me and say kind things. I really, really am. They also got me thinking about what I… Continue reading All together? Nope.
Today marks the second anniversary of Blake’s death. Some people call it an angelversary or remembrance of the date of passing. It’s just a really hard and shitty day for Jeff and I. It’s a reminder (although we never forget) that our baby is no longer with us. It feels like yesterday and so long… Continue reading August 10, 2016
Today, August 1, marks the beginning of SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) Awareness month. August is my least favorite month of the year. On the 10th, we will come around to the second anniversary of Blake’s death. The only thing that helps me through this month is trying to do good in her name and making… Continue reading SMA awareness month
We have been working on something for a little while so I’ll rewind back a bit. Jeff and I always thought we’d have lots of kids. Ok, maybe just me but Jeff married me so whatever. After we lost Blake, we were surprised by our pregnancy with Ayla. We are so grateful to be our girls’… Continue reading New adventures
We aren’t very religious. I would say even less so since Blake died. Sometimes I think we’re spiritual but I don’t know. I’ve never been one to tie myself to anything like that. I wish I was certain about what happens after this life like so many others are. But I’m not. A few weeks… Continue reading Why?
It feels like Blakey slips away more and more as time passes. It’s harder for us to find moments that are full of her. A while back the idea came up to plant a tree for her. At first I thought it was silly. Then I realized the meaning of it: something that we could… Continue reading A tree for my girl
Today, the girls, Jeff and I attended an annual memorial service at Seattle Children’s. This was our first year since we were unable to go last year. We walked into the same auditorium I spoke on a parent panel back in March. This time there was a table full of pictures and mementos of children… Continue reading Love never leaves
This space of mine has been neglected lately. Between home life, my day job and The Sunshine Co., I feel like I’m going in a million directions. There are so many things that will stop me in my tracks because of my grief. So far, one of those things just happens to be dates. Today,… Continue reading Diagnosis day take 3