Recently, I’ve had a great deal of really nice comments from people. They’ve said things about me “having it all together”, “handling loss with grace” and “being so strong.” I’m so appreciative of people who reach out to me and say kind things. I really, really am. They also got me thinking about what I… Continue reading All together? Nope.
Today marks the second anniversary of Blake’s death. Some people call it an angelversary or remembrance of the date of passing. It’s just a really hard and shitty day for Jeff and I. It’s a reminder (although we never forget) that our baby is no longer with us. It feels like yesterday and so long… Continue reading August 10, 2016
We aren’t very religious. I would say even less so since Blake died. Sometimes I think we’re spiritual but I don’t know. I’ve never been one to tie myself to anything like that. I wish I was certain about what happens after this life like so many others are. But I’m not. A few weeks… Continue reading Why?
It feels like Blakey slips away more and more as time passes. It’s harder for us to find moments that are full of her. A while back the idea came up to plant a tree for her. At first I thought it was silly. Then I realized the meaning of it: something that we could… Continue reading A tree for my girl
Today, the girls, Jeff and I attended an annual memorial service at Seattle Children’s. This was our first year since we were unable to go last year. We walked into the same auditorium I spoke on a parent panel back in March. This time there was a table full of pictures and mementos of children… Continue reading Love never leaves
A very kind person made a comment to me the other day. She had looked at some of my Facebook photos and then said, “I’m so glad to see you are happy now after all you’ve been through.” That one really got me thinking. How do you measure happiness? Smiling for a photo? Laughing at… Continue reading Happy now?
This space of mine has been neglected lately. Between home life, my day job and The Sunshine Co., I feel like I’m going in a million directions. There are so many things that will stop me in my tracks because of my grief. So far, one of those things just happens to be dates. Today,… Continue reading Diagnosis day take 3
Last year for Blake’s first birthday we did a toy drive in her honor. We collected toys and comfort items for other babies who had been diagnosed with SMA. It was wildly successful, mostly due to all of your generous donations, and we were able to send boxes and boxes to Cure SMA. On our… Continue reading Families in the hospital
Today my Blakey would be 2 years old. I can’t believe it’s been that long already. In all honesty, I still can’t believe we will never celebrate a birthday with her here. Important days, like today, mostly make me feel numb. I almost have to remind myself that yes, this is actually real and yes,… Continue reading She would be two
This is something I wrote for the newsletter of a local support group, Parents of Puget Sound Support. They offer resources for families in the Pacific Northwest who have lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth or in infancy. I thought I would share here too. It was the day of my daughter’s Celebration of Life.… Continue reading Never the same