adoption · foster care

Adoption questions

If you missed it, we finalized Everly’s adoption at the end of October! Tonight, I spent an hour on the phone with a Mama who is interested in fostering and open to adoption. I’ve had numerous similar conversations with other parents since Evie joined our family. I thought I would answer some questions we’re asked often. As always, I speak from our experience. Here goes:

Is Everly Joy her real name? Yes, that is the name we gave her and it’s been what she has gone by since she was a day old. Everly because we liked it, Joy because of Blake, because of how we choose to live, because she is Joy. Legally, her name was solidified the day her adoption was final.

Do you communicate with her birth parents? Unfortunately no, and that is not our choice. I’m hopeful that will change someday.

Is adoption expensive? This question always makes me laugh because we have friends who have spent tens of thousands birthing babies. You can google all kinds of information but adopting from foster care and private adoptions are COMPLETELY different. Short answer: Adoption from foster care is not expensive.

This is my favorite question: Will you tell her she’s adopted? Our friend laughed when he said it but he was really digging at our view on disclosing adoption to a child, in general. Obviously, Everly will know she is adopted although sometimes I forget for a split second that I didn’t give birth to her. If we adopt more children who happen to look like us, they will always know where they came from. We would never ever keep something like from a child. Horrible idea, ask any professional.

Does having an adopted child feel different than a biological child? I’m going to answer this one in a separate post because I have a lot to say! Stay tuned.

What else would you like to know?

One thought on “Adoption questions

  1. I am so appreciative of your insight, wisdom and loving heart. Still get goosebumps thinking about how she came to be a part of your family. Simply beautiful


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